Earlier this week the news broke that the Jaguars had fired their head coach Gus Bradley. It’s not a huge surprise considering the lack of success the Jaguars are having this season. What is a bit of a surprise, however, is how Gus is handling the situation, because it’s a little unprecedented. Gus held a press conference on very short notice on Tuesday at a Cracker Barrel in Jacksonville. Fortunately, SportsStarch was able to get a crew out there to get some information, so without further ado, some segments of the news conference that we thought were noteworthy.

When asked if he was surprised about his termination:

“Hell yea I’m surprised. Jim and I just booked a vacation together with our families. Forget about it now, he can bring his own Bocce set to Branson.”

Gus responding to allegations on betting against his own team:

“You’re joking right? I’m not a gambler, but I would be willing to bet,” he chuckled at his own stupidity, “that the odds for us losing are so high that the payout wouldn’t even be worth it. I would be the world’s worst gambler!”

The true humor however, came after he was asked about future plans in coaching, football, and life.

“I know exactly what I’m going to do. I have a plan. There are some real issues with NFL rules that I’m going to stand up to,” he exclaimed. When asked what the issues were, and what his intended plan was, he replied with, “There are two tiers of teams in the NFL. You have elite teams, and the not-so-elite teams. I think the not-so-elite teams should get 5 downs. I’m serious,” he exclaimed after he was met with laughter, “I’m establishing a group of experts, a super-group committee if you will, to help fight this issue. Thus far, I’ve got Jeff Fisher and Mark Sanchez on board. I’m still waiting to hear back from Michael Floyd, but he is dealing with some personal issues I’m told. The bottom line is, some teams just can’t get it done in 4 downs, and it’s not fair!”

At this point very few reporters were remaining, and understandably slow. Gus was in the middle of his meltdown when our SportsStarch reporter on site was exiting, but he was able to catch one final remark:

“Does it really take this f****** long to make a BLT!”