Aroldis Chapman, last seen blowing game 7 of the World Series, has just been added to the laundry list of players that the New York Yankees have drowned with money. In a scene similar to one found in the movie Blank Check (1994), the Yankees essentially informed Chapman that he could name his price. The 28-year-old reliever agreed to terms with the Yankees on a 5-year, $86 million dollar contract, the largest ever for a relief pitcher. Chapman’s deal allows him to opt-out after three seasons and includes a no-trade clause for those seasons. Chapman specifically stated he may not be traded to a team in California. A former teammate said that Aroldis hated the show Full House when he was younger and has since shown a great disdain for the state in which it was filmed. Although, the fine print of the contract is where the story takes an unexpected turn. Mr. Chapman insisted that his contract be paid in gold doubloons, so he could feel like a pirate. Chapman said in a recent interview with Sports Starch, that he “always dreamed of being a pirate and finding buried treasure.” Yankees associates were more than happy to oblige, and the Steinbrenner brothers both appeared at the contract signing donning eye patches and peg-legs. When asked about his previous domestic violence issues, Yankees GM Brian Cashman had this to say, “We hope that Aroldis has put his past issues behind him and has grown into a better man. If he decides to choke his girlfriend and discharge a firearms again, we are going to make him walk the plank.” The Yankees hope that Chapman can be the piece that completes their team, and hope to make it back to the playoffs next season. Chapman appears to be on the same page as the Yankees and definitely has the postseason experience now to prove that he is worth the $86 million. Chapman stated that his first gold doubloon purchase will be an African Elephant that he will ride in to spring training. April cannot come soon enough.

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